I get in line.
Older, obviously drunk and high, gay
man yelling at someone in the line, “DONT TRY TO SHOVE YOUR FUCKING
GOD IN MY FACE! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!? DO I TELL YOU WHAT TO DO?
FUCK NO! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME GET OUT OF THE FUCKING LINE!”
Older black lady, “It says in the
Bible, 'It's a sin for a man to lay with another man.'”
Young, angry black guy in back of the
line, “WE JUST BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE BECAUSE THE SLAVE MASTER SHOVED
IT DOWN OUR THROATS! WE JUST BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE BECAUSE THE SLAVE
MASTER SHOVED IT DOWN OUR THROATS!”
The older, drunk, almost certainly high
on K2, gay guy now really working himself into a huff, “NOW SEE,
IT'S OK FOR YOU TO THINK THAT. THAT'S THE GREAT THING ABOUT AMERICA.
YOU'RE FREE TO BELIEVE THAT, AND WHATEVER OTHER STUPID BULLSHIT YOU
WANT. JUST DON'T TRY TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.”
The old lady, “You better believe
you're going to have to answer for it.”
The angry guy in the back of the line,
“WE JUST BELIEVE IN THE BIBLE BECAUSE THE SLAVE MASTER SHOVED IT
DOWN OUR THROATS! YOU THINK THAT SHIT COMES FROM THE MIDDLE EAST?
THAT BULLSHIT COMES FROM EUROPE! YAHWEH MY ASS.”
A kid gets in line in back of me. He's
bedraggled and limping and gives the general impression of being
injured. He says, “Hey guess what? I got hit by a car this morning
going 40 miles an hour on the highway. I woke up and was walking down
the road and, “BAM”, I hit the pavement and he sped off. It
fucked up my leg pretty bad.”
“Did you go to the hospital?”
He responded as if that was the
craziest idea he had ever heard, “Fuck no! I got up and walked
away. Man, fuck this line, I'm gonna go look for some leftovers.”
Just then a kid with a big, red afro
comes running down Piss Alley with another guy right on his tail,
“Get the fuck away from me you fucking asshole! What the fuck is
wrong with you?”
The red haired guy ran past me and the
crazy guy stopped in the middle of the street in front of the line.
He looked me right in the eyes and started to scream in a
cartoonishly high pitched voice, “HEY LOOK, I'M NOT FROM AROUND
HERE AND I'M NOT SURE WHERE I'M AT. YOU GUYS AREN'T GOINING TO TRY TO
BEAT ME UP ARE YOU? PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME UP.”
No one said anything. I almost wanted
to go up and start punching him just because I knew he would begin
screaming in an even more comical fashion, but no.
He ran into the middle of the
intersection and began contorting and writhing on the ground. The red
haired guy explained to the security guard that he had smoked a stick
of K2 with the guy and he suddenly went batshit insane. They went to
the intersection to try and drag the guy out of there. As they
grabbed for his feat and hands he struggled to get away and continued
to scream, “PLEASE DON'T BEAT ME UP. PLEASE. NOOOOOOOO!!!”
They finally got him and carried him to
the corner like a sack of potatoes. They dumped him on the sidewalk
and the red haired guy walked away. The security guard asked if he
should call the ambulance but the old Christian lady said, “No,
he's just fucked up on that K2 stick. He'll be fine in five or ten
minutes.”
The maniac had meanwhile quieted down
and was sitting on the corner in a contemplative state.
An old man gets in line in back of me
and tries to hand me a plastic bag with ramen soups and canned
sausages in it, “Alright, are you going to go and try to trade
these soups and these sausages for a stick?”
“I think you got the wrong guy.”
“Oh, I thought you were going to try
to trade this food to the Jamaican for a stick.”
“I don't know the Jamaican all that
well.”
“OK then, I'll ask someone else.”
The angry guy at the end of the line,
“HE'S RIGHT TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF. I SAY HE'S RIGHT. THAT BIBLE
SHIT CONTROLES YOUR MIND. JESUS IS A EUROPEAN WHITE MAN!”
The security guard opens the door, “Ten
more people.” The old lady and the irate gay guy and his boyfriend
all go in to eat. The K2 maniac gets up off sidewalk and gets in line
where the angry guy explains to him how the Bible has been used to
control black people for centuries. I listen while smoking cigarettes
in a dream like state. Ten more minutes to go.
